The End of Logan's Journey

The hope is gone. Logan's time here is now down to a day if not hours. His liver has failed him.  On Sunday his abdominal cavity began to fill with fluid, and it continues to fill.  We reached out to see if the homeopathic route could offer us a Hail Mary. On Tuesday night we made an 11pm run out to Wegman's to grab 2 homeopathic options to try and help restore some liver function.  I knew I shouldn't get my hopes up, but I did anyway.  Each day I measured his abdominal cavity and each day the numbers came back worse; 30.5in, 31in, 32in, and finally, 33in.  Unless something miraculous happens by morning, I believe after tomorrow he would start to become uncomfortable and be at risk for seizure or trouble breathing.  In this case, I'd rather be a day too early than a day too late.  
I've heard it said that easy decisions make a hard life, and hard decisions make an easy life.  This notion stems from the old adage that through afflictions we gain strength and this strength builds resilience.  It is no doubt that this is a hard decision, and one that takes real guts.  I wish I were evolved enough to have the guts and resiliency, but I'm not.  I'm an 8 year old girl sobbing that my beloved pet is about to die, feeling vulnerable and helpless and there's no way to dull the pain.
It's been 4 and 1/2 years since I lost a dog.  Logan is my third to go, and I tell you, it doesn't get any easier.  Logan is my first of many things.  He was my first puppy, my first Ridgeback, my first purebred, my first obedience CDX, my first MACH dog, my first Invitational dog, and the list goes on.  I'll remember Logan as a big kid, a young soul.  He was goofy, playful, and never took anything too seriously.  Yet he always tried to please.  He was a sweet boy that melted the hearts of many.
I started this blog for him after a bleak diagnosis with only a month to live.  That was 1 year and 3 months ago.  In this time we lived life, continuing our hikes and travels together.  We visited Florida, twice, Huntington and Hatteras beaches, New York City, Atlanta, GA, Asheville, NC, and all our favorite places  in Virginia. 
One of the new hikes we walked just recently (Rolling Meadows Trail) at Sky Meadows was March 10th, and Logan hiked 2 and 1/2 miles. His spirit never quit.
Last weekend in Williamsburg we stopped at Raleigh's Tavern to get him his favorite ginger cookie treat.
As I type this Logan lays curled up next to me on the couch.  What I would give to have more of these tender moments.  It's never enough.  While his story here now comes to an end, I pray my memory retains all the special details of him I never want to forget and wish I could hold onto forever.

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